Flibble’s Guide to Writing Fake Patch Notes – wait, what?

Ever feel a sudden surge of deja vu whenever you’re reading the latest World of Warcraft patchnotes? Well, somebody did and wrote a guide on fake patchnotes (probably due to the sometimes repetitive nature of the changes).

Why would anybody write fake patchnotes? Certainly beats us. Unless you’re trying to pull an April Fool’s prank it’s generally not wise to create something that would a) spur a Infernal storm (read: flame bait), and b) take your forum privileges away for a set amount of time. Well, Flibble from I got an angry inch Guild posted a guide to writing fake patch notes on the World of Warcraft forums. He was certainly very observant, here’s a quick rundown.

Under GENERAL he wrote: “2. At least try to glance at the Under Development page, so that you can convincingly lie about the things Blizzard convincingly lies about on their website.” Under CLASSES, Flibble mentions the most amusing:

1. Always include at least one changed Mage spell icon. No patch is complete without changes to a Mage spell icon.

2. Unless writing fake notes for a major expansion patch (e.g. 2.0), never buff hybrids non-healing abilities. Hybrids are only buffed during expansion patches, to lure back customers who don’t like playing second-class citizens.

2a. Corollary: “Expansion” buffs to hybrids should sound flashy, but turn out to be useless (e.g. Avenger’s Shield, Totem of Wrath). Exceptions can be made for buffs to healing talents.

3. Always address at least three class complaints voiced by chronic forum whiners — preferably Warriors and Rogues. For a general idea of which crybabies to listen to, look at the EverQuest characters of those developers with no prior game design experience. Those should align with your chosen classes almost perfectly.

Well, you got the idea. The thread is pretty amusing – for the irony, parody and sarcasm lot. In the end, Blizzard blue poster Drysc gave his own entry, ” 5. Don’t try to pass them off as legitimate notes, include a disclaimer or obvious title to them being fake, or the post and your access to the forums won’t last for long.”

Ever feel a sudden surge of deja vu whenever you’re reading the latest World of Warcraft patchnotes? Well, somebody did and wrote a guide on fake patchnotes (probably due to the sometimes repetitive nature of the changes).

Why would anybody write fake patchnotes? Certainly beats us. Unless you’re trying to pull an April Fool’s prank it’s generally not wise to create something that would a) spur a Infernal storm (read: flame bait), and b) take your forum privileges away for a set amount of time. Well, Flibble from I got an angry inch Guild posted a guide to writing fake patch notes on the World of Warcraft forums. He was certainly very observant, here’s a quick rundown.

Under GENERAL he wrote: “2. At least try to glance at the Under Development page, so that you can convincingly lie about the things Blizzard convincingly lies about on their website.” Under CLASSES, Flibble mentions the most amusing:

1. Always include at least one changed Mage spell icon. No patch is complete without changes to a Mage spell icon.

2. Unless writing fake notes for a major expansion patch (e.g. 2.0), never buff hybrids non-healing abilities. Hybrids are only buffed during expansion patches, to lure back customers who don’t like playing second-class citizens.

2a. Corollary: “Expansion” buffs to hybrids should sound flashy, but turn out to be useless (e.g. Avenger’s Shield, Totem of Wrath). Exceptions can be made for buffs to healing talents.

3. Always address at least three class complaints voiced by chronic forum whiners — preferably Warriors and Rogues. For a general idea of which crybabies to listen to, look at the EverQuest characters of those developers with no prior game design experience. Those should align with your chosen classes almost perfectly.

Well, you got the idea. The thread is pretty amusing – for the irony, parody and sarcasm lot. In the end, Blizzard blue poster Drysc gave his own entry, ” 5. Don’t try to pass them off as legitimate notes, include a disclaimer or obvious title to them being fake, or the post and your access to the forums won’t last for long.”