Gaming’s most beautiful men
Getting tired of the same-old machismo that’s prevalent in your daily dose of gaming? For the guys looking for an alternative to the said manliness, we’ve come up with a list of our “beautiful men” of gaming. And while they’re all indeed effeminate beyond compare, they’re in every way just as bad-ass as the likes of Kratos or Markus Fenix. Head on over to the full article for the list!
Duality: For every alpha there is an omega; for every black there is a white. And for every muscle-bound hunk of machismo out there, there exists an anti-thesis; A man not quite on the level with their testosterone intake, and lend themselves to a very unique form of beauty. Ladies and gents, we present to you our current pickings for gaming’s most beautiful men!
Bridget (Guilty Gear)
In the immortalized words of Admiral Akbar: “It’s a trap!”
After all – who wasn’t taken in by this cute little thing’s feminine charms, which included a wardrobe resembling a cross between a nun and a schoolgirl (kinky)? Then there was Bridget’s Yo-Yo and teddy bear which, while downright lethal in a fight, added further to Bridget’s adorable naivete.
Who wasn’t left feeling a little disturbed as Bridget’s plot ran its course? Poor Johnny – that Casanova got the shock of his life when he found out “she” was actually an androgynous effeminate he.
No beautiful men list would be complete without Bridget. And nobody seems to be able to equal his legacy. Even after this revelation, we’re still spotting tons of doujin out there depicting Bridget as the bubbly little girl that we’ve all grown to know and love (in all sorts of NSFW ways).
Lee Chaolan (Tekken)
Sure, he’s not that effeminate-looking compared to the other guys here. But then, who says it’s all about appearance? Players who’ve had the misfortune of fighting Lee in the ring will remember several things:
- His skin-tight leather pants, and a matching leather vest that doesn’t *quite* cover his navel.
- His penchant for using elaborate gestures, adding a degree of elegance (and annoyance) to his moves.
- He screams like a girl…even as he crushes your ribcage with a well-placed roundhouse kick.
The best way to put it? Lee’s an Italian sports car. He’s brimming with the sort flamboyance that only a thoroughbred can offer, while carrying ample supplies of whoop-ass just to let you know he’s not some panty-waist (he’s still the weakest of the Mishima fighters, however) you can leave in the dust. Although, that still doesn’t change the fact that aside from Lili, the rest of Tekken’s female cast seem manlier than he does.
Alfred Ashford (Resident Evil: Code Veronica)
This guy was hard to track down. At the start of Code Veronica, we were under the impression he was just your typical sniveling, elitist genius. Albeit one with a bizarre complex for his twin sister (Alexia Ashford), and sniper rifles. Indeed, every cutscene showing these two had him at her feet, worshiping the ground she stood upon, answering her every beck and call with his “dear sister” replies. We’ll leave it to your imagination regarding what his insinuations meant.
Several puzzles and plot twists later, we’re treated to the world-shattering surprise: Alfred is his sister. He’s been cross-dressing as Alexia the whole time just to give himself a physical way to act out his demented fantasies, while his sibling quietly slumbered in cryofreeze. Talk about playing with yourself.
And dare we say it – he’s got the meanest wicked witch cackle we’ve heard in a video game character, even among the female folk. Now that’s evil, and beautiful.
Zero (Mega Man X, Mega Man Zero)
For those of us who owned an SNES (or an emulator), you’ll remember chancing upon this Maverick Hunter saving Mega Man from an untimely death from Vile (Capcom‘s apparent Boba Fett ripoff).
Who wasn’t enthralled by this crimson-clad beauty’s entrance? Pale skin, emerald green eyes, long, flowing blond hair, and an equally smashing buster cannon?
Yes, Zero would’ve been quite the soul mate for X, as proven in their tag-team partnerships as the franchise moved through the consoles.
At least until we found he was a guy. A guy with very pronounced moobs on his chest-plate, it seems.
Sure, Zero got plenty of voice-acting by X4, where his masculinity was set in stone by voice actor Ryotaro Okiayu (of Flame of Recca and Bleach fame). The damage has been done, however, and every time we see this maverick-turned-maverick hunter, we dudes can only gaze upon those assailing headlights fixed upon his battle gear – Capcom’s reason for placing them, we don’t know. Just thank the powers that be they’re gone by Mega Man Zero, and ZX.
Raiden (Metal Gear Solid 2, Metal Gear Solid 4):
The fans would creep up under a cardboard box and kill us if we didn’t put Raiden in here.
After all, even character designer Yoji Shinkawa admits Jack was intentionally built to be bishie, as an attempt to hook more females into the MGS fanbase. We think they were trying too hard.
Raiden’s sneak suit is a form-fitting number, showing off every curve and crevasse on his tight little frame. Does he even wear underwear with that getup?
And there’s that hair – Foxhound’s apparently got a top-secret shampoo formula that’s proof against all those nasty chemicals found in Arsenal Gear. And it must be pretty expensive too – why else would they risk sending in their best guy with next to no weapons?
Then there’s his MGS2 strip-down, and his lookalike over in MGS3 – Volgin’s apparent lover (we assure you, that was a dude). Between him and Snake, at the very least, Raiden’s proven to be the one with the bigger (and longer) sword.
That ends this segment of our list. Don’t think that this is the end of the whole thing, however. There’s plenty of other fruit(cakes) to pick from other top titles out there. Check back as we make preparations for future lists!