Pirates of the Burning Sea beta testers, pirate puns, and square pigs

Patchy the Pirate from Spongebob Square Pants Arrr! There be some “punny” pirates on deck, an’ they’re actin’ like a bunch of rowdy mates drunk on some Caribbean rum! Flying Labs Software is havin’ a loot hoot over some of their beta testers’ antics.

Pirates of the Burning Sea is undergoing beta tests right now, but it won’t be released until June 2007. That doesn’t mean we can’t put on our fake mustaches and eye patches though. Pirate humor is everywhere, just as long as you be listenin’ in the right places.

FLS developer Misha shared some funny stuff from their beta forums. Here’s one thread:

Here’s how it starts…

BT1: I’ve got livestock in my loot box! How do I get it out? LOL For crying out loud that just had to be one of the funniest things I was told in this game. I figure it’s a midget cow or something, or maybe a square pig from that goofy Dennis Hopper space movie. Sailing around in a sloop, I can’t imagine my loot box is very big. Maybe it’s just processed livestock, like hotdogs or bologna, hell they’re all swept off the same floor anyways. I just wonder how big of a crow bar I’m gonna need to pry my livestock from my loot box. LOL

BT2: do square pigs make square sausage?

BT3: I guess Wendy’s gets their hamburger patties from square cows.

BT4: a crow bar would not work. You would in fact need a COW bar… Just leave the arrr out of it n ya will be fine… 😀

BT1: But of course how stupid of me. I’d probably need a little more room for that tho, so I’d just moooove it over a little to use that Cowbar. 🙂

BT4: Glad I could be of assistance… Now that ya know what to do it shouldn’t take much to mooove it from one side to the udder…

BT1: Of course if the Devs give me a larger loot box, then it could become my cash cow, but others here might think because they didn’t get one it would be bull and I’d be cowed by everyone here. 😉

BT5: And that’s when we shot him, your honor

Now, if you want to go on, we just wanna remind you that Patchy the Pirate from Spongebob was never this good/bad in pirate jokes. All you’d need now is some hair on your chest and a long swig of ale to get you going further! Click the “Full Article” link below for more on the square pigs, cowbars, the Dutch…

…and pirates posing as telephone operators.

FLS developer Misha shared some funny stuff from their beta forums. Here’s one thread:

BT2: do square pigs make square sausage?

BT3: I guess Wendy’s gets their hamburger patties from square cows.

BT4: a crow bar would not work. You would in fact need a COW bar… Just leave the arrr out of it n ya will be fine… 😀

BT1: But of course how stupid of me. I’d probably need a little more room for that tho, so I’d just moooove it over a little to use that Cowbar. 🙂

BT4: Glad I could be of assistance… Now that ya know what to do it shouldn’t take much to mooove it from one side to the udder…

BT5: And that’s when we shot him, your honor

BT1: Yes and it would have been determined to be a justifiable homicide too huh? LMAO

BT4: Since this murder involved a cow would this not be considered a hombugercide??

BT6: It’s udderly ridiculous. 😀 I can see how some people had a beef with it, but how far can folks milk it before there’s so much at steak that it becomes cheesy?

BT1: Really, the next thing you know Hugh Heffer will chime in and have his say! For crying out loud! Just the same tho, this is probably the top round of jokes we’ll actually see. It is fun to see so much ribbing going on, heck [BT6] was able to flank me with that last one. 😉

BT3: I had to rib my eyes after all the t-bones you failed to cross. This thread has become so punny I laughed so hard mesquite smoked out my rump-roast in the porterhouse on New York strip.

BT6: I hate to be jerky about it, but it seems the rest of the people are cowering before our awesomeness. I tell ya, it’s a bunch of bull that so many can chew the fat in other threads, but suddenly have hoof in mouth in this one. I mean, holy cow, what’s the hesitance? … Well, in conclusion, I think it’s safe to say many people don’t enjoy bovine puns as much as others. I guess you could say they just let it go in one ear, and out the udder.

BT1: Vell, you peeple are vealy presszink zinks now! Oh boy where is this going???

BT7: I don’t know, but I wish you would have warned us so I could steer clear… It’s not calf as funny as you think!

BT4: Haven’t you herd this was all about cowgo space.

BT1: I’d say we were beating a dead horse here, but then someone else has to horn in with something.

BT8: Ugh, I’m sorry that I maneuvered into this thread. Cud someone please tell me whey they think this thread is so popular. Time to hoof it out of here.

BT4: Looks like this one has been milked for all it’s worth

BT1: It’s interesting that we all chose COWS as the form of livestock that I probably have in my loot box. It could have just as easily been sheep or something else just as baaaad. Maybe even chicken, but realistically they are nothing to crow about.

BT4: Aye imagine what would have happened if it were a duck in your hold… everyone would have quacked up. A chicken would have only caused a little eggcitment.

BT3: You’d have been hopping mad if ya couldn’t get your bunnies out of the box.

BT4: Aye a rabbit can make ya pull your hare out

BT1: Nope, couldn’t have ducks AND chickens. There’s too great a risk of foul play. LOL

BT9: This thread is nothing but a bunch of bull :p

BT10: Cud you guys give it a break? I know a lot is at steak, but it is getting udderly ridiculous in here. You’re cow-tipping the scales from sanity to mad-cow-ness with this one. Sheep… that’s just a baaaad subject. No pulling the wool over my eyes on that one. Ewe will have to try harder. And don’t even get me started on chickens. I’m staying the cluck away from that subject.

BT1: Will you guys stop horsing around and do some beta testing before the Devs have a beef with us?

Here is yet another thread compiled by Misha. This time around, they be talkin’ bout the Dutch, telephones, and cable operators:

BT11: I’ve done a couple of escort style missions (I’ll get the names of them when I can get at my mission log again.) that the new AI makes too easy. In one I watched the merchant ships I was supposed to be escorting one gang up on a single target, take down its masts and then sail in a circle around it pounding it to bits. Meanwhile the other raiders seemed shy about getting into the fray. … In another, the phone rang just as I reached port. In my rush to enter the port and grab the phone I accidentally activated a mission instead of entering the port. When I finished the phone call I was surprised to see that, not only was I in a mission instead of a port but, I had completed the mission successfully. … I wonder if we need to test what happens in a mission if we do nothing at all?

BT4: I don’t remember running a mission where I ‘ad tew answer a ringing phone. Must be a Dutch skill. Hey Devs how come the Dutch players get telephones n we pirates don’t???? Another case of bold face discrimination… The bloody brits probably ‘ave them tew!!!

BT11: You do. You just need to capture one of The Phone Company Cutters.

BT4: Tha’ sounds pretty phony but i’ll look fer one tanight…

Dev1: I think we removed that qwest.

BT12: But it was such a cingular idea!

BT11: This thread is already beginning to take a toll.

BT4: Do you have to use long distance to reach those ships you mentioned?

BT12: Get back to your cell!

BT13: Yes, we Brits have telephones, but they are government run and don’t work that well. If you get a line on those phone missions, give me a call.

BT4: can ya hear me now???

BT14: To hear less puns, press one.

BT15: To complete the phony mission, press two!

BT16: I think its time to call it a day on this thread before it’s disconnected by the operator

BT17: What’s your hang up, princess?

BT12: Hey, someone’s got to hold the line…

BT4: Press one for English, two for Spanish, three for Chinese, four for South Korean, five for German, six for Danish, seven for Ebonics, eight for Hindu, nine Japanese, ten for French…

BT11: Sadly, pressing anything other than English, Spanish and French will do nothing. (I’d also challenge you to locate the “10” on a phone dial. I will admit though that I am ignorant in the subject of early 18th century telephone equipment.)

BT4: This call may be monitored so we can laugh at you later… If you can’t figure out where button ten is push button five twice…

BT7: We are testing, especially in investigating CTDs… Dr. Watson, come here. I need you.

Dev2: Finger . . . twitching . . . must . . . close . . . thread . . .

BT12: Dial “M” for “Moderation” 😀

BT4: WAIT! Is that a ship I see on the Verizon?

BT18: I give that one a ringing endorsement.

BT5: Hells Bells! What is going on here?

BT11: Wow, I thought I was all dialed into the testing with an AI issue that didn’t seem to ring right to me and here I find that my thread has become an open party line for three pages of bad puns. … Is there a thread abuse hotline?

BT20: Hello you are through to the Thread abuse hotline. Please choose from the following by dialing the number on you keypad.
For British Player please press 1 where your king and country await you!
If you are the only Spanish Player please press 2, where we will answer after an indeterminable time.
For French Players please don’t bother pressing 3 as we don’t like you and are not going to answer anyway.
For Pirate players please loot a number from the above and press that!

BT17: What a switch this thread has taken. Maybe we should exchange our attitudes before the operators of this forum line us up, they’ve got our number.

BT12: I dunno about you, but I’m wired

BT4: Where’s Ma Bell when she’s needed?

BT21: I believe she called in sick with the ILL COMMUNICATION!!!

BT12: I thought Ma Bell was a telecommuter.

BT21: Well, she’s Ma Bell… I guess she can telem whatever she likes.

BT12: Maybe she’s just pushing our buttons, but I’m not gonna let her off the hook. I’m a Rotary Club Member, after all!

BT21: You might want to dial it down a notch! She’s got everyone’s number

BT4: That gives her quite the ad-Vonage

BT11: The puns are coming fast now. I’m really going to have to sprint to keep up.

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