QuickJump QuickList: 20 memorable Jack Thompson quotes

Activist lawyer Jack Thompson has been on the case of violent games and their developers for years now, and he’s provoked the ire of gamers time and again. We’re looking back at some of the most memorable quotes he’s ever dropped, and we’ve chosen the twenty best out of them all. See the full list of Jack Thompson’s most memorable quotes right after the jump!

The old adage “one man’s hero is another man’s terrorist” applies to a lot of situations, and in gaming, it can’t be more true. Over the past few years, activist lawyer Jack Thompson has made a name for himself in the gaming media, provoking the ire of consumers, publications, and game makers, all the while winning the support of some concerned parents across America.

We’re not here to judge Mr. Thompson. Neither are we inclined to get into a debate with him. Rather, we choose to commemorate some of the most memorable words he has ever written or spoken. Let’s face it: There’s just so much entertainment value in this regardless what you think about him.

This blogger and QJ.NET’s resident game politics buff Tim Y. have combed the web for Thompson quotes and found a treasury of them over at Game Politics and other news sites. Without further ado, here’s the twenty best from over 300 remarks::

20. “My boxers aren’t in a knot. Your legal briefs are.”

19. “I am a one-man violent video game wrecking crew”

18. “God is very powerful, and He’s not real pleased with Rockstar right now, nor with those who defend it. Watch out. Fire and brimstone on the way.”

17. “I love the smell of burning gamers in the morning.”

16. “Jack Thompson keeps racking up wins and you gamers just can’t handle the truth.”

15. “At least I’m not a a coward like all of you nerds here, who hide behind anonymous avatars. How sad.”

14. “E3 will once again turn down my offer to appear on any stage and debate anyone about the harmfulness of violent games.”

13. “Oh? And of what are the games other than self-centered mental masturbation?”

12. ” By the way, I was just watching G4 with my son. Who in the world watches this garbage? People with no lives, obviously. Pathetic.”

11. “The U.S. military literally uses modified versions of these games, as well as their own video games, to do one thing: to break down the inhibition to kill among new recruits,”

10. “Bully (Wii, Xbox 360)contains homosexual activities between Jimmy Hopkins and other male students. Is this a great country or what?”

9. ” …Don’t lecture me about how I’m somehow akin to Hitler. Gamers are akin to the Hitler Youth. Pixelantes are vigilantes. You put threats ahead of arguments, extortion ahead of enlightenment.”

8. “This is not rocket science. When a kid who has never killed anyone in his life goes on a rampage and looks like the Terminator, he’s a video gamer. “

7. “You all need to put down the controllers, get a life, and join the Force, thereby leaving the Dark Side behind. Hooah! Praise be to the Lord, Jesus Christ, the author of all things, even of The Florida Freaking Bar.”

6. “PWNED is not a word… as it is in serious need of a vowel movement. Somebody get Vanna White on the phone to buy one. Having said that, this entire site has been “pwned” by Jack Thompson today, and you pixelantes don’t even know it.”

5. “What the Japanese are doing to our kids is insensitive and racist. The Japanese have for a very long time dumped pornography into this country in a fashion they would not tolerate in their own country. It is another version of Pearl Harbor.”

4. “Honestly, are all of you gamers on drugs, I know I am!”

3. “Sims 2, the latest version of the Sims video game franchise…contains, according to video game news sites, full frontal nudity, including nipples, p*n*s, labia, and hair, which I can’t wait to “jack” off to with glee!”

2. “Take-Two has just had sex with the Lady holding the scales of Justice.”

1. “I’ve spent more time riding guys than you’ve spent playing World of Warcraft.”

If those quotes had you craving for more, you can follow this link to find a ton more. The quotes can be traced back to their original sources in the linked page for reference. Enjoy!