WoW flashback: escorts

Or more specifically: escort quests. They come a-dime-a-dozen in World of Warcraft. Probably the silliest type of quests available, including the first one with Thrall, you’d think that they were merely created just for the sake of filling in quest content.

Now before the Burning Crusade launch, the avid role-player would find himself jumping into a fray of antagonistic guards who serve their head on a silver platter. Soon after, the player ends up talking to the NPC under-guard who just thought that he had to explain why he was there in the first place.

After listening to a story that a three-year old could conjure up, the player gets dust kicked up his face as he realizes that the NPC he had to escort was housing a Buick up his nether… uh… regions.

Try as you may, once the Buick kicks in, the NPC’s IQ drops 300 points and engages any and all enemies that they encounter, leaving the poor bewildered player to intoxicate himself with potions (and they aren’t Gatorades, mind you) just to arrive in the nick of time into fray after fray of enemies.  After a couple of “HELP ME!” cries, you’d think the little half-wit was messing with you.

But thankfully, the Burning Crusade patched things up and enrolled the NPCs in common-sense classes. They now avoid any confrontation worth avoiding. They also stick relatively close, too. Relatively is an understatement though. They even undergo survival training, so now they last 15 seconds longer.

Strange as they seem, they are pretty hilarious as you think about them now. Yeah…good times. Good, in a weird way.

Or more specifically: escort quests. They come a-dime-a-dozen in World of Warcraft. Probably the silliest type of quests available, including the first one with Thrall, you’d think that they were merely created just for the sake of filling in quest content.

Now before the Burning Crusade launch, the avid role-player would find himself jumping into a fray of antagonistic guards who serve their head on a silver platter. Soon after, the player ends up talking to the NPC under-guard who just thought that he had to explain why he was there in the first place.

After listening to a story that a three-year old could conjure up, the player gets dust kicked up his face as he realizes that the NPC he had to escort was housing a Buick up his nether… uh… regions.

Try as you may, once the Buick kicks in, the NPC’s IQ drops 300 points and engages any and all enemies that they encounter, leaving the poor bewildered player to intoxicate himself with potions (and they aren’t Gatorades, mind you) just to arrive in the nick of time into fray after fray of enemies.  After a couple of “HELP ME!” cries, you’d think the little half-wit was messing with you.

But thankfully, the Burning Crusade patched things up and enrolled the NPCs in common-sense classes. They now avoid any confrontation worth avoiding. They also stick relatively close, too. Relatively is an understatement though. They even undergo survival training, so now they last 15 seconds longer.

Strange as they seem, they are pretty hilarious as you think about them now. Yeah…good times. Good, in a weird way.