Humor: Other Bunnies Very Useful Scientific Facts Ubisoft Didn’t Mention

By now one could argue that the rabbids of Rayman Raving Rabbids have become iconic of the Wii, especially with all that exposure from trailers and advertising. Some would dare say that the rabbid would be to the Wii what Mario was to the NES… Okay, we won’t be that bold.

We WILL say that we do love those wascally wabbids, especially those d**ned adorable “Bunnies Very Useful Scientific Facts” short trailers based on the minigames. We’d like to think there’s more Bunnies Very Useful (and Not-So-Useful) Scientific Facts that Ubisoft isn’t telling us, though.

In the meanwhile, this writer decided to pass the Christmas holiday laziness away by creating his own lost of Bunnies Very Useful and Not So Useful Scientific Facts that Ubisoft might have neglected to mention, featuring crossovers from other games and other entertainment media…

Bunnies Can’t Use Nethicite, Deifacted or Manufactured

(alternatively: Bunnies Can’t Use Materia, Aeons, GFs, Dresspheres, Limit Breaks, Overdrives, Mist Knacks, Desperation Attacks, Mist, pyreflies, Lifestream, and Jenova. Just to clear the deck of everything they can’t use in Final Fantasy). Waitaminute – if Bunnies Can Dance, then They Can Also Send.

On a side note, it is theorized that Viera are Bunnies exposed to Mist. Explains (a) their hostility to Humes, and (b) why Bunnies Can’t Play Final Fantasy.

Bunnies Can’t Be Caught In Poke balls

Bunnies Can’t Save The Princess Who’s In Another Castle

Bunnies Very Useful Scientific Facts Can’t Fit In A Short Article. More Bunnies Very Useful Scientific Facts After The Jump. Bunnies Can’t Jump.

By now one could argue that the rabbids of Rayman Raving Rabbids have become iconic of the Wii, especially with all that exposure from trailers and advertising. Some would dare say that the rabbid would be to the Wii what Mario was to the NES… Okay, we won’t be that bold.

We WILL say that we do love those wascally wabbids, especially those d**ned adorable “Bunnies Very Useful Scientific Facts” short trailers based on the minigames. We’d like to think there’s more Bunnies Very Useful (and Not-So-Useful) Scientific Facts that Ubisoft isn’t telling us, though.

In the meanwhile, this writer decided to pass the Christmas holiday laziness away by creating his own lost of Bunnies Very Useful and Not So Useful Scientific Facts that Ubisoft might have neglected to mention, featuring crossovers from other games and other entertainment media…

Bunnies Can’t Use Nethicite, Deifacted or Manufactured

(alternatively: Bunnies Can’t Use Materia, Aeons, GFs, Dresspheres, Limit Breaks, Overdrives, Mist Knacks, Desperation Attacks, Mist, pyreflies, Lifestream, and Jenova. Just to clear the deck of everything they can’t use in Final Fantasy). Waitaminute – if Bunnies Can Dance, then They Can Also Send.

On a side note, it is theorized that Viera are Bunnies exposed to Mist. Explains (a) their hostility to Humes, and (b) why Bunnies Can’t Play Final Fantasy.

Bunnies Can’t Be Caught In Poke balls

Bunnies Can’t Save The Princess Who’s In Another Castle

Bunnies Can’t Slay Vampires. Not in Castlevania, Vampire – The Masquerade, Blade, Buffy, Angel, Van Helsing, Mel Brook’s version of Dracula (Dead and Loving It), Count Dooku (uh…) – not even the Count from Sesame Street.

Do you guys still remember Con-Air? Remember that scene where one of the bad guys discovers that Nick Cage’s character is really a good guy, and Nick asks him to “put the bunny back in the box“? Well… Bunnies Can’t Be Put Back Into The Box.

Bunnies Just Can’t Quit Dom, Either.

Bunnies can’t microtransact. We hope.

Bunnies Can’t Ride Into The Danger Zone. Neither Have They Lost That Loving Feeling.

As proven by countless videos of Rabbids playing with the Wiimote, Bunnies Can’t Unleash The Flying Wiimote of Doom (TM), which means they’re not Wiidiots. They Unfortunately CAN Turn Other Objects Into Lethal Weapons Of Mass Destruction (e.g., plungers, dusters, toilet brushes, shovels, baseball bats…)

Bunnies Can’t Save Timmy Who’s Fallen Into The Well. Poor Timmy.

Bunnies Can’t Sing High School Musical. But They Can DANCE High School Musical!

Rachael Leigh Cook is all that. Bunnies are not all that.

Despite the fact that Assassin’s Creed is a Ubisoft title, Bunnies Can’t Assassinate Their Targets Quietly. But They Go Crazy Over Jade Raymond! (Who Wouldn’t?).

Bunnies Cannot Edit Wikipedia. It would be a one-word entry.