The Top Ten Inventions of 2005 (According to The U.S. Army)

My grandmother once had a saying: “There is a little Good in all Evil.”

This probably applies to warfare as much as anything. Despite its horror, the suffering and damage it wreaks, wars have been the soil in which many technologies have grown. Take, for example, the “walkie-talkie” of World War II. Who could have imagined it would eventually evolve into those slick little devices known as mobile phones…? Or Germany’s V-2 rockets…originally designed to visit death and destruction, this device eventually became a vehicle that took us to the surface of the moon…and let’s not forget the huge advances in surgery and medicine…

That said, when I look over this list, I cannot help but be horrified at humankind’s penchant for bloodshed – yet hopeful at humankind’s ingenuity that may yet spell the difference between survival and extinction for our species.

Here then, is the United States Army’s list of the Top Ten Inventions of The Year 2005:

1. Combat Application Tourniquet. With highways all over the industrialized world experiencing carnage to rival the Battle of Verdun and Gettysburg, I suspect EMT’s and civilian medical personnel will be happy to have this one.

2. Persistent Threat Detection System. “An aerostat-based persistent surveillance and sensor set.” Probably some good potential applications for civilian law-enforcement, here.

3. Fixed Site/Vehicle Mounted Gunfire Detection. A gunshot detection and locator that police being fired upon by snipers will find quite useful. One imagines game hunters (like Dick “Sure Shot” Cheney’s friend) would be able to employ this to keep track of other hunters.

4. M100 Grenade Rifle Entry Munition. A lightweight grenade launcher that allows personnel to blow open doors and windows without risk of injury to the shooter.

5. M192 Lightweight Ground Mount. Compact and collapsible. About 6.5 pounds lighter than its predecessor, which can make a great deal of difference on a long march. (And to think that soldiers of the Roman Empire carried 80 pound field packs…) No doubt, field photographers will appreciate the technology that went into this one.

6. M782 Multi Option Fuse for Artillery (MOFA). Combines proximity, precision timing, delay and point detonation functions in one handy device. Should be great for lunar or asteroid mining, someday.

7. Over-the-horizon Satellite Communications and Improved Dual AN/PRC-117F Command and Control Console. Considering how many idiots on the road attempt to pass me on blind curves or hills, something like this should be integrated into every automobile and attached to an alarm.

8. Countermeasure Protection System.  Jams IED land mines. In memory of the late Diana Spencer, who demonstrated so much concern for the young victims of leftover land mines, I hope this device finds its way into the hands of those whose job it is to clean up those hateful devices…

9. Dual Band Antenna. “Unprecedented wideband frequency span from a single antenna structure.” I leave that to your imagination (isn’t 3,000 channels enough?)

10. Fido Explosives Detector. A portable IED land mine detector weighing under 3 pounds, performing about as well as a bomb-sniffing dog. See #8, above.

My grandmother once had a saying: “There is a little Good in all Evil.”

This probably applies to warfare as much as anything. Despite its horror, the suffering and damage it wreaks, wars have been the soil in which many technologies have grown. Take, for example, the “walkie-talkie” of World War II. Who could have imagined it would eventually evolve into those slick little devices known as mobile phones…? Or Germany’s V-2 rockets…originally designed to visit death and destruction, this device eventually became a vehicle that took us to the surface of the moon…and let’s not forget the huge advances in surgery and medicine…

That said, when I look over this list, I cannot help but be horrified at humankind’s penchant for bloodshed – yet hopeful at humankind’s ingenuity that may yet spell the difference between survival and extinction for our species.

Here then, is the United States Army’s list of the Top Ten Inventions of The Year 2005:

1. Combat Application Tourniquet. With highways all over the industrialized world experiencing carnage to rival the Battle of Verdun and Gettysburg, I suspect EMT’s and civilian medical personnel will be happy to have this one.

2. Persistent Threat Detection System. “An aerostat-based persistent surveillance and sensor set.” Probably some good potential applications for civilian law-enforcement, here.

3. Fixed Site/Vehicle Mounted Gunfire Detection. A gunshot detection and locator that police being fired upon by snipers will find quite useful. One imagines game hunters (like Dick “Sure Shot” Cheney’s friend) would be able to employ this to keep track of other hunters.

4. M100 Grenade Rifle Entry Munition. A lightweight grenade launcher that allows personnel to blow open doors and windows without risk of injury to the shooter.

5. M192 Lightweight Ground Mount. Compact and collapsible. About 6.5 pounds lighter than its predecessor, which can make a great deal of difference on a long march. (And to think that soldiers of the Roman Empire carried 80 pound field packs…) No doubt, field photographers will appreciate the technology that went into this one.

6. M782 Multi Option Fuse for Artillery (MOFA). Combines proximity, precision timing, delay and point detonation functions in one handy device. Should be great for lunar or asteroid mining, someday.

7. Over-the-horizon Satellite Communications and Improved Dual AN/PRC-117F Command and Control Console. Considering how many idiots on the road attempt to pass me on blind curves or hills, something like this should be integrated into every automobile and attached to an alarm.

8. Countermeasure Protection System.  Jams IED land mines. In memory of the late Diana Spencer, who demonstrated so much concern for the young victims of leftover land mines, I hope this device finds its way into the hands of those whose job it is to clean up those hateful devices…

9. Dual Band Antenna. “Unprecedented wideband frequency span from a single antenna structure.” I leave that to your imagination (isn’t 3,000 channels enough?)

10. Fido Explosives Detector. A portable IED land mine detector weighing under 3 pounds, performing about as well as a bomb-sniffing dog. See #8, above.