Dudeguys and Faux Pros in Halo Live – oh my!

Hands down, there’s no better judge in evaluating the kinds of… er, characters that populate the Halo online multiplayer fragfests than the people at Bungie itself? Call it amateur gaming anthropology, or a wacky sense of humor, but they’ve come up with a list of the types of Halo players they’ve come across in Live, from the benign to the almost-banned. Somehow, we hear them laughing in their desks as we read and summarize this for you guys.

• The Dudeguy: the most common, the least conspicuous, because he’s the casual gamer who plays after school or the 9-to-5. Often seen in groups of more Dudeguys, and in unranked or low-level matches. In many cases, often preyed upon by “XBL bad guys.”

• Captain Coolguy: apparently, based on Bungie’s descriptions, someone pretending to be the odd jock who also happens to be a Halo player. Let’s just say he may sound like a jock, but he may not have the balls to prove it.

• Ballus Non-Dropus: Bungie’s first sentence says it all: basement-dwellers. (That’s… mean.)

The list goes on with the more unsavory Halo players at the full article! And thanks to badam for sending this in!

Pre-Order: [Halo 3]

Hands down, there’s no better judge in evaluating the kinds of… er, characters that populate the Halo online multiplayer fragfests than the people at Bungie itself? Call it amateur gaming anthropology, or a wacky sense of humor, but they’ve come up with a list of the types of Halo players they’ve come across in Live, from the benign to the almost-banned. Somehow, we hear them laughing in their desks as we read and summarize this for you guys.

• The Dudeguy: the most common, the least conspicuous, because he’s the casual gamer who plays after school or the 9-to-5. Often seen in groups of more Dudeguys, and in unranked or low-level matches. In many cases, often preyed upon by “XBL bad guys.”

• Captain Coolguy: apparently, based on Bungie’s descriptions, someone pretending to be the odd jock who also happens to be a Halo player. Let’s just say he may sound like a jock, but he may not have the balls to prove it.

• Ballus Non-Dropus: Bungie’s first sentence says it all: basement-dwellers. (That’s… mean.)

• The Angry Psycho: his violence isn’t limited to the battlefield. He fills pre and post-game chats with verbal abuse and idle threats, often “at the first person that says anything.”

• The Aggro: related to the Angry Psycho, except more subdued. He can be cool in a game that’s even full of Dudeguys, but provoke him at your own risk. Apparently he “also knows this dude who works at Bungie” who could ban you.

• The Modder: a.k.a cheaters. Their online time not spent on Halo is spent looking for new cheats to unleash on their next victims opponents. And their offline time seems spent on making protests to Bungie in reaction to their being banned.

• Hosthax ‘R’ Us: just as banned like the Modder, but because of their net-hacking skills, not their in-game cheating skills.

• The Faux Pro: known for the excessive use of “X”, “I”, and “O” in their names, and for playing in unranked playlists where they can overmatch the weaker opponents. Also known in more common parlance as “n00b rapists” – but that’s us talking, not Bungie.

The author even provides a Cosmo-style quiz that tells you what kind of Halo player you are. Yeah, it’s all for laughs, but honestly, who could stand a Modder, an Aggro, or worse, the Faux Pro? After all the laughter (or the embarrasment) has died down, we realize that it’s a nice public service message behind all the humor:

The day Halo 3 multiplayer finally hits XBL, hey, the best players are usually the respectful, even humble ones, right? Get’cha head in the game, not in the clouds.

(On a side note, this author expected he’d fall under the Dudeguy category, but his quiz results told him he’s a Ballus Non Dropus. What?! I got out of the basement months ago!).

Thanks to badam for sending this in!

Pre-Order: [Halo 3]